My Disappearing Assets

Hello my wonderful readers! So, I am now officially three weeks post-op, and so far, so good. Nothing has changed this week as far as dietary or physical activity instructions from the doctor, but next week will be fun. I am finally allowed to start strength training again. I'm hoping this will help my weight loss along, although I am not disappointed with that by any means. I am currently 262 Ibs. That's a 14 Ib weight loss since surgery, and a grand total of 48 Ibs gone since I have started this journey. To celebrate, I thought it was time for a picture! I am starting to see some changes, and I am proud of my progress. I am actually starting to be able to see my collar bone again!  Although, I wish my progress was less in my boobs and butt, and more in my belly :)

This week also marks the first time I was able to put away 4 oz. I was only able to do it once, and I probably should have stopped a little sooner, but it happened. I am still fighting the mentality of not wanting to "waste" food. I am becoming more aware that this mentality it is there, though. That helps me fight it, but it is definitely a hard pattern to break. 

Some more positives for this week! My engagement ring is starting to get loose, which I guess is both a plus and a minus, but I found a great video that shows someone using hot glue to temporarily make the size smaller. What a great idea! I definitely do not want to resize my ring until I am at a stable weight, especially considering it'll weaken the metal if it gets resized too much. My belly is also clean of all bandage residue and steristrips. My mom suggested using coconut oil to get all the residue off, and by golly, sometimes it pays to listen to your parents. It took it right off without having to put any chemicals near the incisions, which are healing up quite nicely. I also got a present from my mom which you can see below :) It even has my name and surgery date on the back!

So, with all these great things happening, there are a few not necessarily bad things, but not as great things happening, too. First off, I went through a little stall. I was stuck at 266 for a few days, but that also could have been because of stress and it getting to be "that time of the month." I wasn't very worried about it. I just kept on with my healthy eating and making sure I'm getting in my water. Another odd thing that my body is doing is making some demonic noises. After I eat, my stomach is loud! It's embarrassing when I'm sitting in class after having lunch or dinner, but we are all human I guess. Nobody says anything, and it's not like I'm sitting there farting. I would never put my classmates through the horrible stench that is my protein farts! Although, I have had to leave the room to do that a few times. Not this week, but the week I came back after surgery, the gas pain would get pretty intense! 

And of course, Easter was this week. I went to my grandpa's house like we do every year, and I got some candy...which I promptly gave to my fiance. There were also a lot of snacks laid out that I really wanted to indulge in, but I was a good girl and behaved myself. I had my lunch of ham and a deviled egg. I will admit that I was sooooo tempted to have some bread. My grandpa had made homemade bread the night before, and it just looked amazing! But not as amazing as the progress I am making in my journey :) I wish people would understand that more. I get comments from those who know about my surgery that they feel bad that I can't indulge anymore in candy or sweets. The kicker is that I could if I really wanted to, but I choose not to. I have changed my life and health for the better. I don't feel sorry for myself at all. I feel great! I have a new chance at life in a way. How many people are lucky enough to get that? This is one of the biggest reasons why I still debate whether I wan to "come out of the bariatric closet." I don't want comments like this. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I'd rather just let them think I am making healthy choices on my own (which I am anyways) and let them be amazed as a disappear before their very eyes. 

Sleeve Newbie

Hi everyone! Long time, no see, right? These past two weeks have been a bit hectic, but I'm back. I have a lot to catch you up on, so let's get right to it.

First off, I am officially two weeks out from my surgery, which means I am now eating REAL (not pureed, mashed, liquified, etc ) FOOD! I could not be happier. I was getting so sick of protein shakes and cottage cheese. Of course, it's not like I was having a lot of it. It blows my mind how much food it takes to fill me up. When I first got home from the hospital, I wasn't even able to eat more than 2 oz of cottage cheese. A few bites, and I was done. Before surgery, I probably would have had no problem downing 1/2 a container of cottage cheese. Crazy....

The other big thing that happened is that I have been back at school for a week now. Yup, I went back a week after surgery. I was very worried the Sunday beforehand. I wasn't sure I could do it. I was still having a LOT of gas pain. This was like stop what you're doing and brace yourself pain. It sucked. I did learn something, though. As soon as you can sleep lying down, you should do it! I think a big reason why I was having so much pain was I slept in a recliner the first few nights home. My grandma suggested I try sleeping lying down, and lo and behold, it helped a ton! I wasn't feeling perfect and peachy, but I was doing better than I had been. Of course, my anxiety was kicked into high gear, too, since I was freaking out about going back to school, so that didn't help either.

Thankfully, once Monday came around, I was doing well enough to get to classes, and with my mom dog sitting my emotional support dog, I didn't have to worry about her trying to dragging me across campus with my sore belly. I did have to rearrange my dorm a little bit (with my fiance's help, of course!) so that my bed was low enough to just get right into. I had it lofted so I could fit Bella's cage underneath it for the sake of saving space. There is no way I would have been able to get into bed if I had kept it the way it was.

The school has been doing pretty good with taking care of me. I explained to my professors that I had surgery over spring break, and they were all very good about respecting my privacy. None of them tried to get more details than that. They also let me know that if I needed anything or wasn't feeling good, just let them know. I didn't need to take any of them up on that offer, but it was good to know that they care. I had made arrangements with dining services at school so that I could have a special plate made for me in the cafeteria as well. Before surgery, they were preparing me my one allowed meal per day. The last week while I was back at school, the chef was preparing me pureed chicken in chicken broth, or pureed tuna salad. I was also able to get a car ride back to my dorm after my night classes were over from campus safety. I was comfortable walking to classes during the day, but I did not want to walk back at night by myself. The campus is near a city, so there's a lot that could happen. I'm usually not too worried since the campus is pretty good about safety, but I wouldn't be able to fight back or run if something happened. Plus, after being in class for four hours, I was pretty stiff.

I also had my one week followup with my surgeon. He said everything is healing well, so that is great. I also had to attend a one hour class about what steps I will be taking forward in the next couple months. In two more weeks, I get vegetables!!! It sounds weird, but I am actually excited to add them back into my diet. I think it is more for the sake of having some variety. For now, though, I'm still working on getting in my 60 grams of protein and all 64 oz of fluids daily. It is a struggle some days, but I usually manage to get it.

It's interesting to see how my appetite fluctuates. Most mornings, I can only eat maybe 2 oz of protein before I'm full. By lunch or dinner, I am getting in 3 or 3 and a half oz. It drives me crazy. It also drives me crazy having to wait to drink anything after I eat. I know I have to since it'll be uncomfortable if I don't, but it is always tempting. I set an alarm on my phone so I know the instant I can drink again. It's also hard for me to slow down when I'm drinking fluids. There are times, especially in the morning, when I want to just chug down a whole water bottle. There are times when I do take a bigger than I should gulp and pay for it. It does not feel good! I don't throw up, but it's uncomfortable. I really have to focus on sipping slowly. Eating is the same way. I have learned that I start burping when I'm full, though, so that helps gauge when I should stop. At least I have a handle on that. And thankfully I haven't had any nausea and I haven't thrown up at all. Everything I've eaten seems to sit well in my tummy.

Anyways, that's basically what's going on right now. I'm still getting left side pain, and there are days when I just feel achy or tired, but stress from school doesn't help :) I have been off of the pain meds since about Wednesday. I still take them if I need them. If I twist wrong or sleep the wrong way, I sometimes need to take it in the morning. Of course, I didn't expect to be fully healed yet. I'm still a newbie at this whole sleeve thing, and my body is still playing catch up. Thankfully, I get a lot of love and support from the people around me.

CW 267  SW 273.4   HW 310

Sleep...What's that?

So, as I said in my last post, I did make it through my surgery and am officially sleeved! Today is my first day home, so I figured I could write a better post about my experience now that I am not all drowsy from morphine and other drugs.

So, I guess I'll start from Monday morning. I got to the hospital dressed in the most baggy clothes I could find, and they took me back pretty quick. The nurse I had was very friendly. She came in and took my vitals and got a urine test so they could do a pregnancy test. Then she left me to change. I changed into my gown and laid down in bed, and that was the moment when the reality of my surgery hit me. I finally felt like this is really happening. Needless to say, I freaked out a little, but took a few deep breaths and was able to calm down.

The nurse came back in after I was done changing and did the pregnancy test. Of course, the first test was faulty...and the second. This led to another freak out by me. I am not ready to have a kid and I especially did not want to have this surgery postponed after all my hard work. Thankfully, the third test worked, and I am not pregnant.

Next, another lady came in to put in my IV and start fluids. I knew my veins suck for getting blood drawn, but apparently they're even worse for trying to start an IV line. They tried in my left hand, then my left forearm before finally giving in and using the same vein I always get blood drawn from since that's basically the only good vein I have. It was in the vein in the crook of my arm, so not the best placement for an IV, but it worked and that's what mattered.

That's when the surgeon and anesthesiologist came in to get me ready to get wheeled in to the OR. They double checked all my details, warned me about possible side effects, and then off we went. I know my face dropped as soon as they said it was time to go. They put something in my IV while we were in the hall. I thought it would knock me out almost instantly, but it just made me feel very heavy. I was still awake when we reached the OR. It was a bit freaky. They then inflated the mat underneath me and moved me onto the operating table, and then they put a mask on my face and told me to breathe deeply. I remember thinking when I would fall asleep, and then next thing i knew I was in recovery.

I wasn't really in any pain at this point, probably because I was still doped up on some crazy drugs. I even asked the guy who was keeping an eye on my recovery if I had my surgery yet. He laughed, and told me it was all over. I was still really tired, though. I was in and out of it. At some point when I was asleep again, I was wheeled up to my room, and woke up to a nurse ready to take my vitals. I was really surprised they didn't have me on oxygen since I know my mom was on oxygen for a while after her surgery. I did still have a catheter like her, though. It sucked, but I understand them wanting to measure fluid output. One of the nurses asked me if I had been given a water pill since I produced so much urine. I just told him I keep myself well hydrated on my ice chips.

That night absolutely sucked, though. It had nothing to do with pain. It was because they had me attached to an oxygen saturation monitor. This monitor wasn't hooked up to my IV pole, so it was nearly impossible to go for a walk. It also sucked because apparently this machine does not like patients sleeping. The nurse explained to me that the machine is quiet at levels between 90 to 100 percent. Well, just as I would start dozing off, my levels would drop to 88 to 89 percent since my breathing rate would slow. Therefore, the machine would beep like crazy and of course wake me up. I wanted to throw that sucker against the wall, especially the next morning. I was so sore from laying down all night thanks to that machine.

The biggest excitement the next day was getting to drink water. Ice chips can only do so much. It was also nice getting some broth and jello, but I didn't eat too much of it. I was having some serious gas pain that made it hard to eat. I also had my morphine taken away and had to take pain pills. I was still on IV fluids, though, to make sure I stayed hydrated. I spent most of the day watching cartoons and walking or sitting in my chair. Oh, and I got the catheter out! That was nice, although it was kinda hard to pee at first since I think my system was still in some shock. As the day went on, I felt better and better. Another plus, I didn't have to be attached to the anti-sleep machine that night, so I was able to get some  sleep between the nurses coming in to take vitals. Oh, and another thing...I farted! It sounds goofy, but the relief of all that gas pressure made me feel better than the pain meds did.

That brings us to this morning. I was completely detached from all IVs bright and early in the morning so I could walk easier. I also got to give myself a shot of blood thinner to the stomach with the nurse watching me. Holy cow does the blood thinner burn, but I'd rather have that than a blood clot. My fiance was happy I managed to do it myself because he could never do it for me.

My surgeon came by to check and see how I was doing, too. He wanted to make sure everything was good before I headed for home. He was glad to hear the pain wasn't too bad and I was up and walking since day 1. He was actually surprised considering the hernia repair that he had to do.

They also removed my bandages and staples from my incisions. I got a picture of 3/6 of them. I didn't want to flash the camera since the others are a little higher up.  I actually think it hurt less getting the staples out compared to getting the bandages pulled off, and both of those hurt less than having the IV pulled out of my arm. I'm pretty sure they super glue that sucker in place. But it meant I could go home after attending a postop nutrition class, so I was happy. 

I survived!!!

So, I made it through surgery!!! I'm not in too much pain, either, which is a pleasant surprise considering I had a hernia. Yup, that's right. This girl had the largest hernia my surgeon has ever seen in someone my age. 

The only time I really needed the morphine button was right after getting out of surgery, and after I got in a fight with my gown and moved too much. I didn't have the common sense to hike it up before I sat back down in bed and it tried choking me. Thankfully my fiancé was here to save me! 

Today's THE Day

Well, today is surgery day. I need to be at the hospital at 6 AM and then my surgery is at 7:30. Of course, now is the time that my anxiety is going absolutely haywire. I probably spent a good twenty minutes in tears last night, but at no point did I think I absolutely do not want this anymore. Yes, doubts passed through my mind. Yes, I am flipping out. But...this is my chance at a new beginning, and I'm not going to let a moment of vulnerability ruin that.

Oh, but to backtrack a little, I just wanted to say that fiber in sugar free gummy form is dangerous to the starving preop bariatric patient. I probably could have eaten every last one I had in the container...I really wanted to, but it would not have been worth the dire consequences that would have followed.

So, I have packed up everything I think I'll need for surgery. I have crocs, the comfiest clothes I could find, some dry mouth spray (I follow a group on facebook and a few people had recommended this), chargers, and my other meds. I also have a brand new pillow and my fiance will bring my laptop so we can watch netflix when there's nothing on TV.

So with all that said, I am going to get ready to leave! I'm sure I'll be posting later or within a day or two to let you all know how it went. Wish me luck!

HW 310  SW 273.4

Out with the Old

This week has been a bit chaotic. For starters, it is that magical week before spring break called midterm. I have two major projects conquered, and two more that need to be either revised or completed by tomorrow . . . which means a nearly sleepless night without sugary goodness or caffeine to fuel me. I'll let you know how that worked out in my next post.

It's also an unfortunate time to be on pre-op. My professors have been oh so generous to bring in goodies, and I have to death grip my seat and just sit there all sad. One of my professors brought in three big bags of M&Ms. He even had the peanut butter kind! They are my favorite . . . well, they were. Plus, my class tomorrow is celebrating the last day before spring break with pizza and pop and who knows what else. I might ask him to leave early. I'll have to find something I'm allowed to eat to be my new favorite. Come to think of it, all my favorite foods are definite no no's after surgery. I'm talking my apple pie, mashed potatoes, phish food ice cream. But enough of that. That's the old me.

I think Hulu knows that I am on a pre-op diet, too. Every other commercial there's an advertisement for Oprah and her love affair with bread or kit kats or taco bell. It doesn't bother me so much anymore, but the first few times had my mouth watering like I hadn't eaten anything good in days.

Oh wait, I haven't. This pre-op diet is still rough. I'm not pooping green anymore at least, but I am so sick of protein shakes. I can barely get them down anymore, and actually threw one up yesterday. I'm not sure what is going on with that one. I can say that at least I have my broth and my one meal a day.  My mom told me the other day to, "Just keep swimming," as Dory would say. My response: I am swimming . . . in a sea of unsatisfying protein shakes and chicken broth. On a positive note, I'm happy to report my liquid intake has been above the 64 oz required by my doctor office. I have to pee every couple minutes (ok maybe that's a little dramatic), but it's worth it.


I'm getting to that point now where I am excited about the surgery, but I'm also flipping out a little. I mean, It's surgery. I've never gone through any type of surgery or been given any kind of anesthesia. It's very hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that I will be put to sleep, and then wake up with pains and an itty bitty stomach. I won't have any idea what went on. We'll just see how it goes, I guess. One thing I am definitely not excited for is the 6 AM arrival time on Monday. I can't remember the last time I was awake at 6. That being said, I guess the whole point is for me to not be awake later anyways.

I just hope it is all worth it. All the money, time, pre-op misery, stress, everything. This is a battle that has plagued me, and it's one I want to win. Even if I end up with battle wounds and stretch marks.

It's green!

Well, I totally underestimated this preop diet . . . I was perfectly fine two days ago, a little iffy yesterday, and today I am really feeling the side effects of ketosis. I am nauseous to the point I have no interest in food. That being said, I get it down since I know my body needs it. It still sucks, though. The worst part is that I know that just a little cheating could make it all go away, and the temptation has been sitting in the back of my head all day, but will I give in? NO NO NO!!!! I want this.

The weirdest side effect is that this diet has caused my stool to turn green . . . yep, green. I knew grape soda and lots of artificial color would do that, but I definitely did not expect it from protein shakes and a meal of veggies and protein. Turns out my mom had the same thing happen to her. So weird.

Anyways, just thought that little update was necessary. I'm sure I'll be writing again before my big day!

Beware of Planes

I came across this picture on pinterest the other day and it basically describes how I'm feeling right now. Finals week is next week, and I am feeling the pressure. I think that this picture also describes how I am feeling about my surgery, but in a less negative way. More of a holy cow I am now officially on my preop diet sort of way! For two weeks, I am allowed 1 meal a day of 4 oz of protein and 1/2 cup of veggies. I can't believe how fast my surgery date is coming up! only 10 more days! I am all stocked up on soup broth, sugar free popsicles, flavor packets, and protein powder, and I am ready to kick this preop diet's metaphorical butt! 

That being said, I am nervous as hell. Like I said in my first post, I've never had any kind of surgery before in my life. I've watched my mom go through this same procedure, but it definitely isn't the same as experiencing it yourself. Although, I am happy that so far I have been able to stick with the preop diet no problems besides a little nausea. What really helps is that I actually like my protein shakes. I mix the vanilla powder I got from the doctor's office with orange crush flavor packets and I love it! 

It is also hard thinking about the fact that I will not be able to eat the same way ever again. I've somewhat come to grips with it. I have been very good for the most part since I started my journey, but there's still a little part of me that wants code red mountain dew and key lime / apple pie (my three weaknesses). I used to get an apple pie from my grandma for my birthday almost every year instead of cake, and now I can't do that especially this year considering my birthday is almost exactly one month postop. 

Also, some good news! I am down a pant size from a 22 to a 20, and down about 7 more pounds since my original post. GO ME!!!!! :)

I know I can do this. The hardest thing will always be the mental and emotional me that yells for junk food, but in the end, I know it is not worth it. I do not want to ruin a chance at a new life. 

The Conqueror

Well, I am happy to say that this week I have gotten back on track with healthy eating despite more than enough temptation. My school was doing a spin on Hunger Games during dinner this Thursday, and, of course, prizes were candy and pop. On top of that, they had a cotton candy machine and popcorn machine. It smelled AMAZING. . . but I was good. I sat and ate my chicken, salad, and cottage cheese like a good girl. Well, I ate it and practically ran out of the cafeteria before I had a chance to even think about having "just one bite."

Even being back at my fiance's has proved to be a little easier. I have started planning for days where I just have to suck it up and accept that there will be meals I cannot eat with everyone else. Well, I can physically be with them, but I'll have to eat my greek yogurt or cottage cheese instead of what everyone else has. I think the fact that my surgery date is getting closer is definitely an added motivator, too. Only 30 days till my date!!!!

I'm also trying to get everything sorted out with my school as far as what things I will need after surgery is over. I think working with the school is almost as hard as trying to get insurance approval sometimes. I had to talk to the lady in charge of dining services so I could change to a lower meal plan since obviously I will not be eating as much as I am now. I met with her the second week in January. Then, I had to email her again last week in order to figure out why the change hadn't been updated on my student account. Turns out, I had to meet with the disabilities coordinator since changing my plan was considered an accommodation. This was news to me since no one told me I'd have to meet with her in order to have my meal plan change approved! Thankfully, I met with her the day after I found this out. Then I had to call my doctor to get a note from them saying that I'm not lying about getting surgery, and having half of my stomach removed means that I will be on a restricted diet. Now I'm just waiting on more approval. It's frustrating. I think it might be a conspiracy to try and deter me from changing it so I don't save money on my meal plan (I'll get an extra $1,000 back after changing my plan).

That being said, the biggest challenge I had was that I found out yesterday that my great-grandma had passed away, and I'm not sure if I will be able to make it back for the funeral. I can't turn to food as comfort. I don't want to ruin how good I've been doing this week. My fiance has been trying to keep me distracted, and being around my 2 year old nephew has helped. It still is tough just trying to find other outlets for coping. I'm trying to get a lot of class work done this weekend to keep busy, too. I have to get that done anyway so I'm not stressed about it while I'm dealing with all my surgery stuff. I hope I can get by without breaking down. She lived a long life, and I know I'll see her again someday.

Love you, Busha <3

Standing Not So Tall

This weekend was full of ups and downs. My fiance and I had traveled down to Illinois to visit my mom, but also to attend Winter Jam at the Allstate Arena. I was super excited! Not only did I get to see my family, but I also got to watch two of my favorite bands play! I didn't think anything could bring me down.

That being said, my hips did not let me sit down...the seats at the arena were not made for big people! I had to angle myself in the seat so I could fit, and even then I was left with a bruise the next day from the arm rests pressing on my hips. Not gonna lie. I cried a little, and ate a few things I definitely should not have eaten...and then felt sick the next few days afterwards. I learned my lesson...kinda. It was just an all too real reminder that I am not a healthy size.

It also brought back memories of when my sister, my mom, and I took a trip to Hershey, Pennsylvania. Who would think a place that sounds like a fat woman's dream would turn out to be her nightmare!? The amusement rides at the park were not built to handle larger people. The safety belts and bars on most of the rides just barely got around me after having to suck in my gut and hold my breath. I did still have fun on that trip, but I would have enjoyed it more if it had not been for a few extra pounds. Same with the concert. I ended up standing up the majority of it because it hurt to sit down. Did it ruin my good time? No! I still had a great time, but it would have been nice to have been able to sit down without feeling like I was getting crushed.

We went to Crayola, too!

Now, I am back at school trying to refocus myself. I slipped up big time. I was hurt big time, but it's just part of the journey, I guess. I won't let it stand in my way or take away from the joy of the journey towards my new, healthier life. I will still get hurt when I'm skinnier. I just have to relearn how to deal with it.

Willpower...I need some

Hi everyone! So, I have to finally admit it . . . I have the willpower of . . . well, I have none. The past few days I have been staying with my fiance and his family. I go there during the four days I don't have school unless I go home. It's great getting to see him, but it's not so great for trying to change my eating habits. The majority of their meals are heavy on carbs. On top of that, there is always pop in the house somewhere.

It's hard on me, and I honestly slipped up a few times. I feel really guilty about it, but at the same time, this is why I'm trying to change now. I still have a little over a month to begin adjusting to this new way of eating and thinking. All that being said, I am doing really good about staying away from the pop. I bought myself a case of water and a few boxes of sugar free drink mixes so I could still have something. This will be one month since I've stopped drinking caffeine, and I am pretty happy with that.

And as for the carbs, I know I can do it in time. I make the right choices at school, but when I don't have as many choices like I do at the college cafeteria, something in my mind switches. I think it's the fact that here the food is made for me specifically. I almost feel an expectation to eat it. Not so much at school. Next week I am going to my fiance's home with a plan. I will make sure I have plenty of good choices available for when the carbs come out. The only real food I had this week was a supply of hard-boiled eggs I made to try and behave myself. That didn't work as well as intended.

The main thing that I still have to get through my head is that there will always be temptation. No one is going to change their ways because I changed mine. My fiance and his family are very supportive of me getting this surgery, but I do not expect them to change. This is my journey. I just need to learn to say no. No to carbs. No to sugar. No to pop. Just all around NO.

On a totally unrelated, happy note: I think I have finally reached the point where I am no longer trying to talk myself out of getting the surgery :) During the previous five months of waiting for the insurance to clear, I have gone back and forth too many times to count. I'd tell myself that I could do it on just diet and exercise. I'm already down 20 pounds. Who's to say I won't keep going down? Is the surgery worth it? Aren't you scared?

Then the other side would chime in with the cold, hard fact that I have tried diet and exercise the majority of my life. I had gotten to the point that I was starving myself just to try and lose weight. I have been relatively active my whole life with soccer, and I still weighed over 200 pounds. Yes, I'm scared, but being scared won't solve this issue. This surgery might just be an answered prayer. I need to do this for myself . . .

And it's at this point where the negative voice in my head shuts up.

The Journey So Far

Before I dive into anything specific, I guess you should know a little about me. My name is Cristal. I am currently a senior in college and going through what will hopefully be my last semester. For basically my whole life, I have played soccer. The biggest reason I quit was I ended up with a coach who could not accept the fact that bigger girls can play sports, too. I could go into that all day, but for the sake of your sanity and mine, I won't.

That being said, it was not the only reason I quit. The other reason was that, even though I thought I was fat when I first entered college at 210 pounds, I got even bigger. I can't believe I thought that was a horrible weight to be at! I think it was a mix of depression and medication that caused me to balloon up up and far away. I put on 50 pounds between my freshman and sophomore year of college. After that sophomore year, I put on another 40 pounds which got me up to a grand total of 300 pounds. At that point, running and playing soccer was very hard on my body. I could feel the extra weight I had put on. Of course, with that extra weight, I became even more depressed, and that's when I chose to quit the team. I felt like I was the weak link that just brought the whole team down. I couldn't finish workouts or the running. I was miserable.

My junior year was hard without soccer. Being on the team was pretty much the extent of my social life. On the plus side, I was finally put on some medication for depression which helped a lot for a little while. This year had a lot of ups and downs as I got my meds straightened out. Another great thing that happened this year was that I got a bloodhound puppy named Bella. She is my emotional support animal, and gets to stay with me on campus in the dorms. She helped keep me going that year, especially when it came to going outside for her walks and meeting new people. Who can resist this face?

Which brings us to senior year! The year I get sleeved! My mom is the one who inspired me to consider the surgery. She just recently got sleeved in December, and is doing great. If it weren't for her, I probably would have never thought about getting weight loss surgery. She even went with me the day I attended the informational seminar back in September of 2015. After doing a ton of research (OK maybe half a ton) I made my choice and began the process. For insurance to cover, I had to do a physician monitored diet, which I completed in December. Just a few days ago, I finally got the call that the insurance approved it, and I set up all my appointments. I have the preop class on February 23rd, and I will be having my surgery on March 7th!!!!!I am super excited, and super nervous. I have never had surgery before in my entire life. On top of that, I'll have one week to recover, and then right away I'll be back at school (Did I mention I'm getting sleeved over my spring break? And I'm taking 18 credits? ). I am already down 20 pounds since I have started this journey, and I can't wait to see what the rest of this year brings! 

 

Current Weight: 286.1
Highest Weight: 307.4