Standing Not So Tall

This weekend was full of ups and downs. My fiance and I had traveled down to Illinois to visit my mom, but also to attend Winter Jam at the Allstate Arena. I was super excited! Not only did I get to see my family, but I also got to watch two of my favorite bands play! I didn't think anything could bring me down.

That being said, my hips did not let me sit down...the seats at the arena were not made for big people! I had to angle myself in the seat so I could fit, and even then I was left with a bruise the next day from the arm rests pressing on my hips. Not gonna lie. I cried a little, and ate a few things I definitely should not have eaten...and then felt sick the next few days afterwards. I learned my lesson...kinda. It was just an all too real reminder that I am not a healthy size.

It also brought back memories of when my sister, my mom, and I took a trip to Hershey, Pennsylvania. Who would think a place that sounds like a fat woman's dream would turn out to be her nightmare!? The amusement rides at the park were not built to handle larger people. The safety belts and bars on most of the rides just barely got around me after having to suck in my gut and hold my breath. I did still have fun on that trip, but I would have enjoyed it more if it had not been for a few extra pounds. Same with the concert. I ended up standing up the majority of it because it hurt to sit down. Did it ruin my good time? No! I still had a great time, but it would have been nice to have been able to sit down without feeling like I was getting crushed.

We went to Crayola, too!

Now, I am back at school trying to refocus myself. I slipped up big time. I was hurt big time, but it's just part of the journey, I guess. I won't let it stand in my way or take away from the joy of the journey towards my new, healthier life. I will still get hurt when I'm skinnier. I just have to relearn how to deal with it.